by Ayakha Ramantsi
I am finally starting to enjoy my life, just as it was meant to be. For years, I have been tormenting myself, worrying myself sick and working myself into a frenzy unnecessarily. I’m at an age where many of my peers have graduated, started their careers, having babies and getting married; and I’m feeling like I am just “here”.
I’m sure I am not the only person who has put time-specific conditions on their lives to say that, “by the time I am 21 I should have achieved x, y, z”, or, “by 25 I should have a mili in my bank account”. And not to say that it is wrong to think that way because those goals can be used as motivation to do better, but throughout the process, we neglect to think of the two most important factors: Time and Life (Remember life?! Living?! That thing??). Honestly, you can wake up at 04:00 each day, working so hard to get to these age-specific goals you set for yourself, but if that thing called “life” does not allow for you to achieve these goals, then that is just it.
Maybe it wasn’t the right time for you to receive what you want; maybe it’s not the right time for you to be working this job (sure, it pays the bills); maybe you aren’t supposed to be with your girl/homie. Maybe these things really aren’t meant for you, at least at this stage in your life that is. Why? Because life, bro. Sometimes things happen the way they do because it is destined to be so. Maybe whatever you aren’t getting right now is because there is something better out there or your path needs to take a different turn. It’s not your fault – it’s just what life has decided for you.
We have been conditioned by society to believe that the levels made up by them are the right degrees to gauge and measure our success and that their blueprint is the one to follow. We forget that we are human, each interconnected, however living different lives. We forget that in the bigger sphere of things, there is life that needs to be lived and only that bitch decides when the time is right.
I am not saying relax on your dreams, I am not saying your partner isn’t right for you, nor am I saying drop out of school, or anything of a similar nature. However, what I am saying is, remember to live. Trust in the Life process, don’t ever do things in half measures and most importantly, stop putting so much pressure on yourself. You are right where you need to be right now. Stay in your lane and trust in your OWN life process.
Happiness is a choice. Things cannot get better unless you let go of all the negativity. Worrying about anything honestly doesn’t solve much – what’s happened has happened. It took me so many years to realise this, and once I did, things have not been the same. What a time to be alive.